Dear United

Dear United Airlines,

I will never fly your airline again.
It is true I have spent many free flight hours apon your wings in the past two years thanks to the numerous travel vouchers earned for your disability to stay on schedule (and my ability to not need a specific flight schedule) and writing this just minutes from take-off on one of your cross-country flights may not be the most appropriate of moves, kharmically speaking, but seriously, $175 to check pole vault poles?! I remember in 6th grade when that kid socked me in the face after thinking I snitched on him. Walking away from your counter I feel just as assaulted.
Yes, I understand the times are tough and the nickel and diming has become as natural to flying as stripping down at security. Hell, $15 for luggage, $9 for a soggy sandwich - excuse me: soggy "wrap" - is even somewhat understandable. A year or two ago you charged $80 for my poles - a standard fee not too difficult to choke down as it would only be slightly more expensive to ship them. Awkward at 17 feet long, I know the pole tube can be difficult to negotiate through the winds and twists of the checked baggage super-highway (try the check-in lines with that tube on your shoulder), but right now I'm sitting in 1 of 6 seats in the 28th of the 34 rows of this airplane, once slid into the bay, at 30 or so pounds, there is no possible way my pole tube is worth $175 of hassle - well over twice as much hassle as a year or two ago. Before this trip I was debating whether or not I could afford a new laptop. Now I know I could have - but no longer can.
Last week I flew to North Carolina for the Indoor US Combined Events Championships. After a host of phone calls and queries before the trip, I was stoked to find out that previously unknown to me, on top of a ridiculously good airfare, plenty of leg room, and comfy seats for my sore (and lanky) apendages, Jetblue was able to check pole vault poles. The $75 was an expected and competitive charge not too far off of what I might have ended up spending at a bar watching the same college basketball games I enjoyed during the flight complements of the headrest satellite TVs. Unfortunately, Jetblue's scheduling didn't work out for me to fly to California this weekend and the other airlines that are actually enjoyable to fly either don't fly out of Boston (Southwest) or can't take poles (Virgin America) so I was forced to take United - the airline I used to consider "the one of the old airlines that isn't too bad." Then you charged me nearly the same price for my poles to fly under your plane as you did for me to sit in your cramped cardboard isle seat.
I should have left the poles and bought the laptop...Virgin has inflight Wi-Fi.


Good luck in the future,
Matt Chisam