Catching Up.

There are ten events in the decathlon. Right now I think I hold an emotion for each.

I. Alleviated

• To make easier to endure; lessen; mitigate

This has been a year of incredible peaks and Valleys. Going back to look at the goals I set for myself, on the small end I accomplished a lot, but they never seemed to add up when it counted. From an indoor season marked by PR after PR but a no-mark in the shot at Dartmouth Relays keeping me out of a big Heptathlon score and possible berth at USA Indoors. A huge first day at LSU to open the season was marred by bad luck and poor execution on day 2.
Full of confidence in my progress, the Dallas meet started off the incredibly rocky month of June. A good day two saved a weak first day making a meet long with regret and what I thought for sure was a missed chance at the Olympic Trials. The next couple weeks were wrought with phone calls and anguish while battling USATF to get my mark legitimized then endlessly waiting for a chance to make the meet. After selling my rooms, my family selling their tickets, building hope, losing hope, and finally preparing for the Hexham meet in England, a dream finally unfolded in front of me. Even while finally in Eugene it was far from smooth sailing, but still an experience never to be forgot. In the end, I just found out that I missed the USA vs. Germany dual meet team by one or two spots, thus my season is now over. Frustration? yes, but finally as well...relaxation.
Like the speech for incoming freshman I stole from my dad: "There's good stress and there's bad stress, but it's all still stress." Tis true, and I've felt it all. It is finally time to just let it all go. Time to rest. Time to sit. Finally.

II. Apprehensive

• Capable of apprehending, or quick to do so; apt; discerning.
• Perceptive.
• Uneasy or fearful about something that might happen.

This year if nothing else taught me one thing: never be content. Especially with the nature of our sport. Many great pieces came this year: PRs in 6 of the ten events (100m, LJ, SP, HJ, PV, 1500m), but you can never let it be enough. This year 10 guys scored the Olympic A standard of 8,000 pts - a feat only bettered once before in US History. The field of 20 assembled in Eugene this year was one of the best ever to meet on US soil. Numerous multi-event NCAA record holders, World Record Holders, an Attempt at the American Decathlon record, the end of great careers (see: Celbuski), the begenning of others (see: Eaton), and even the fastest decathlon 110mH heat in history. I was building a good year, but I wasn't the only one stepping it up.
Plus, on top of which: you never know what is going to happen. In LSU a meet turned with the wind when within minutes a beautiful tailwind evaporated into a tailwind with rain and thunderstorms. My allowed my meet and score to follow suit. The poles that had carried me towards 17 feet in the same event at Dallas were taken from my my inexplicable damage in shipping. I wasn't going to let luck deter me in Eugene as it had in Baton Rogue. I again took shots at 17 feet at the Trials, but this time is was on borrowed poles I hadn't touch before. I can fund raise to replace poles, but to get to where I want to be it's going to take a lot more than some new poles.

III. Thankful

• feeling or expressing gratitude; appreciative.

When all is said and done: intervals, toe-board fouls, cross-country moves, early mornings, long days, credit cards, appeals, plane rides, the 1,500, there's nothing like walking off the track amidst 20,000 people to have your family there waiting with the biggest smiles you've ever seen. Everything else goes away as you finally take a moment to realize all that went into the moment you're finally able to live. Emails, voice messages, and text messages from people you haven't heard from in years. Hugging your brother in the stands during the victory lap, hearing voices from the stands: your high school school coach, your old teammate, the athletes you coach, your uncle who somehow got a press pass, your mom. Only through them did I get where I have gotten. For them I am here.

IV. Antagonistic

• Indicating opposition or resitance
• Characterized by antagonism or antipathy; "slaves antagonistic to their masters"

Unfortunately I've also learned another lesson: you only get so far without politics. I've fought some - I guess maybe even started some - battles this past month. I've never been a fighter, maybe I've just never been passionate to fight over anything. Our sport is far from perfect and it's going to take those who love it to do something about it.

V. Optimistic

• disposed to take a favorable view of events or conditions and to expect the most favorable outcome.

As I've said before, I've done a hell of a lot of good this year. I can't wait to build onto it. Next year starts now.

VI. Perturbed

• to be disturbed or disquiet greatly in mind; agitated.

Again, much good was done, but there's much more in store. The decathlon gives you many chances to succeed, but you have just as many opportunities to fail. I did much right, but there's some I need to change and much that can be improved. Next year starts now.

VII. Restless

• characterized by or showing inability to remain at rest
• unquiet or uneasy, as a person, the mind, or the heart.
• unceasingly active; averse to quiet or inaction.

Next year starts now!! Whereas when I was younger at times I would be longing for the time of year I finally got a chance to rest. A break. Recently it's become the toughest part of my whole year. It's nice to let the hair down a bit, enjoy being young a bit, spend a little more time with friends, a lot less time on the track, but at the same time rest is the last thing you want. There's so much to fix, so much work to get done. You get the taste of where you can be, you can't just put it down. The body needs rest but the mind and heart want everything but. Not to mention the fact that I am literally restless. When you're used to hours of intense activity a day, now that i've cut myself off of working out I'm incredibly far from tired come the end of the night...

VIII. Insecure

• Not secure; exposed or liable to risk, loss, or danger.
• Not firmly or reliably placed or fastened.

There's a lot more there than came out this year. Will I find a way to bring it out? There were holes in my training this year, can I fix them? What about my poles? Do I have what it takes to step up along with the rest of the guys? Can I find a way to recruit training partners? When I don't allow my body to put in work, my mind takes over.

IX. Anxious

• earnestly desirous; eager

Next year starts now. I can't wait. Seriously, I really don't want to wait.

X. Elated

• Very happy or proud; jubilant; in high spirits.

I did it. :)

I never really considered it a dream until I actually got to live a piece of it. Its funny how I might have even more questions and yet I have never been more secure. Thank you to my incredible family that has always supported me, the incredible teachers and coaches that I learn from every day, my athletes that keep me inspired, and all my great friends that make it worthwhile. Of course, Amory and In-The-Arena, I don't know what I could have done without you.

Trials, Part II

So day 2 turned around much better than the first. The meet itself was incredible with some guys putting up some ridiculous scores. Many are considering it one of the greatests decathlons ever at a Trials. Unfortunately after losing so many points after the first day my overall score wasn't quite what I was going for, I came back strong on day two scoring just 25 pts shy of 4,000 for the day and working my way up from 19th to 15th.

I started off on a decent foot by battling well in the hurdles to come back and win my heat. The discus was again decently solid at just over 44m on my first throw, but the real fireworks came in the vault. I have to thank Ryan Harlan, Trey Hardee, and the U of O coach Dan Steele for all being coming through and being great enough to offer their poles for me to borrow. I went with Ryan's and it payed off huge. It took a jump or two but I was eventually able to move up to 5 meter poles that I have never been on before. I got the crowd into it, and my coach and family's heart pumping by missing my first two attempts at opening height (video to come later), but once I was over that, it was all fun from there on in. The crowd, again, was amazing. By the time we got to the vault the stadium was probably at least half full and after my clearance at 5.10m (16'-8") only Tom Pappas left in the competition. The couple time world champion was currently in 2nd place and is also from Oregon so we had the attention of the crowd. Their clapping and cheering was unbelievable. I took a couple of good hacks at 5.20 (~17'), but just couldn't quite get it.

After the vault we went on to jav in usual order, but once we finished the jav we had a nearly 2.5 hour break before the 1,500m. It was interesting trying to figure out what to do with a couple hour break, but in the end it was all worth it. We took the track at 9:30pm just after the crowd of 40,000 plus witness three Oregon's qualify for the Olympics in the 800m. The place was unbelievably electric. Bryan Clay was taking a shot at the American record and needed to run about a 4:40 to do it so I figured if he was close, I'd be on a good pace. It turns out I wouldn't even see Clay for the first 1,050 meters as with all the excitement I took it out real quick behind the lead group. It's amazing what 40,000 screaming fans will do for you. As most of us commented on later, after two days, nine events, and a 3 hour break, with a wall of noise running with you through the race, you barely felt tired. Unfortunately one of my hamstrings that I was having earlier trouble with (even cramped up on the massage table before the javelin) came back with a vengence halfway through the second lap and I was basically trying to see how fast I could run without lifting my heels more than six inches off the track....good ol' 1500. Clay passed me with just over a lap to go, but once we hit the bell lap I dug deep and kicked it hard in for the final 400m. My time (4:46) was actually much better than I tought it would be considering the hamstring issues, but with that crowd going the whole time, it felt much more like you were floating than running. Amazing.

The real highlight came after the awards ceremony when Clay, Trey, and Pappas call us all back out on the track and we as a field took a victory lap around the stadium. Giving high fives, signing autographs, hugging family, all to the standing ovation of a packed Hayward field. Again amazing.

I'll try to get so video and whatnot up later, but that's it for now. For all of those of you that have emailed, called, texted, etc after following the meet or seeing the coverage on NBC, thank you so much. To my family who was able to make it out, mom, dad, Chris, Tim, all my old coaches and friends (and of course super-fan Ian Kenworth who flew in last minute just for a day), it was even more special having you all there with me. You all were all there with me thank you.

-matt