Catching Up.

There are ten events in the decathlon. Right now I think I hold an emotion for each.

I. Alleviated

• To make easier to endure; lessen; mitigate

This has been a year of incredible peaks and Valleys. Going back to look at the goals I set for myself, on the small end I accomplished a lot, but they never seemed to add up when it counted. From an indoor season marked by PR after PR but a no-mark in the shot at Dartmouth Relays keeping me out of a big Heptathlon score and possible berth at USA Indoors. A huge first day at LSU to open the season was marred by bad luck and poor execution on day 2.
Full of confidence in my progress, the Dallas meet started off the incredibly rocky month of June. A good day two saved a weak first day making a meet long with regret and what I thought for sure was a missed chance at the Olympic Trials. The next couple weeks were wrought with phone calls and anguish while battling USATF to get my mark legitimized then endlessly waiting for a chance to make the meet. After selling my rooms, my family selling their tickets, building hope, losing hope, and finally preparing for the Hexham meet in England, a dream finally unfolded in front of me. Even while finally in Eugene it was far from smooth sailing, but still an experience never to be forgot. In the end, I just found out that I missed the USA vs. Germany dual meet team by one or two spots, thus my season is now over. Frustration? yes, but finally as well...relaxation.
Like the speech for incoming freshman I stole from my dad: "There's good stress and there's bad stress, but it's all still stress." Tis true, and I've felt it all. It is finally time to just let it all go. Time to rest. Time to sit. Finally.

II. Apprehensive

• Capable of apprehending, or quick to do so; apt; discerning.
• Perceptive.
• Uneasy or fearful about something that might happen.

This year if nothing else taught me one thing: never be content. Especially with the nature of our sport. Many great pieces came this year: PRs in 6 of the ten events (100m, LJ, SP, HJ, PV, 1500m), but you can never let it be enough. This year 10 guys scored the Olympic A standard of 8,000 pts - a feat only bettered once before in US History. The field of 20 assembled in Eugene this year was one of the best ever to meet on US soil. Numerous multi-event NCAA record holders, World Record Holders, an Attempt at the American Decathlon record, the end of great careers (see: Celbuski), the begenning of others (see: Eaton), and even the fastest decathlon 110mH heat in history. I was building a good year, but I wasn't the only one stepping it up.
Plus, on top of which: you never know what is going to happen. In LSU a meet turned with the wind when within minutes a beautiful tailwind evaporated into a tailwind with rain and thunderstorms. My allowed my meet and score to follow suit. The poles that had carried me towards 17 feet in the same event at Dallas were taken from my my inexplicable damage in shipping. I wasn't going to let luck deter me in Eugene as it had in Baton Rogue. I again took shots at 17 feet at the Trials, but this time is was on borrowed poles I hadn't touch before. I can fund raise to replace poles, but to get to where I want to be it's going to take a lot more than some new poles.

III. Thankful

• feeling or expressing gratitude; appreciative.

When all is said and done: intervals, toe-board fouls, cross-country moves, early mornings, long days, credit cards, appeals, plane rides, the 1,500, there's nothing like walking off the track amidst 20,000 people to have your family there waiting with the biggest smiles you've ever seen. Everything else goes away as you finally take a moment to realize all that went into the moment you're finally able to live. Emails, voice messages, and text messages from people you haven't heard from in years. Hugging your brother in the stands during the victory lap, hearing voices from the stands: your high school school coach, your old teammate, the athletes you coach, your uncle who somehow got a press pass, your mom. Only through them did I get where I have gotten. For them I am here.

IV. Antagonistic

• Indicating opposition or resitance
• Characterized by antagonism or antipathy; "slaves antagonistic to their masters"

Unfortunately I've also learned another lesson: you only get so far without politics. I've fought some - I guess maybe even started some - battles this past month. I've never been a fighter, maybe I've just never been passionate to fight over anything. Our sport is far from perfect and it's going to take those who love it to do something about it.

V. Optimistic

• disposed to take a favorable view of events or conditions and to expect the most favorable outcome.

As I've said before, I've done a hell of a lot of good this year. I can't wait to build onto it. Next year starts now.

VI. Perturbed

• to be disturbed or disquiet greatly in mind; agitated.

Again, much good was done, but there's much more in store. The decathlon gives you many chances to succeed, but you have just as many opportunities to fail. I did much right, but there's some I need to change and much that can be improved. Next year starts now.

VII. Restless

• characterized by or showing inability to remain at rest
• unquiet or uneasy, as a person, the mind, or the heart.
• unceasingly active; averse to quiet or inaction.

Next year starts now!! Whereas when I was younger at times I would be longing for the time of year I finally got a chance to rest. A break. Recently it's become the toughest part of my whole year. It's nice to let the hair down a bit, enjoy being young a bit, spend a little more time with friends, a lot less time on the track, but at the same time rest is the last thing you want. There's so much to fix, so much work to get done. You get the taste of where you can be, you can't just put it down. The body needs rest but the mind and heart want everything but. Not to mention the fact that I am literally restless. When you're used to hours of intense activity a day, now that i've cut myself off of working out I'm incredibly far from tired come the end of the night...

VIII. Insecure

• Not secure; exposed or liable to risk, loss, or danger.
• Not firmly or reliably placed or fastened.

There's a lot more there than came out this year. Will I find a way to bring it out? There were holes in my training this year, can I fix them? What about my poles? Do I have what it takes to step up along with the rest of the guys? Can I find a way to recruit training partners? When I don't allow my body to put in work, my mind takes over.

IX. Anxious

• earnestly desirous; eager

Next year starts now. I can't wait. Seriously, I really don't want to wait.

X. Elated

• Very happy or proud; jubilant; in high spirits.

I did it. :)

I never really considered it a dream until I actually got to live a piece of it. Its funny how I might have even more questions and yet I have never been more secure. Thank you to my incredible family that has always supported me, the incredible teachers and coaches that I learn from every day, my athletes that keep me inspired, and all my great friends that make it worthwhile. Of course, Amory and In-The-Arena, I don't know what I could have done without you.